My mom cried during our first meeting with the financial aid office when I was in the process of applying to Carleton. I remember being angry at her; I was thinking "why can't you just keep it together". I was embarrassed. I love my mom and looking back it must have been brave of her to not only encourage me to apply to a school with such a price tag but to have the guts to set up a meeting with the financial aid office in the first place. She wanted to make sure I would be able to attend despite the lack of funds. We were so relieved when, in addition to the scholarships from my high school, Carleton provided enough money so that I didn't even need to get a campus job as a freshman. Though I did have to work for the next three years, my job as an RA provided me with great experiences I was able to utilize beyond Carleton. Living and learning at Carleton changed my life. It was a wonderful experience but it has also created stresses. As a first-gen college student, I feel like I don't fit in with my family anymore. At the heart this feeling is our very different experiences. No one in my family has taken this course; I travel the lonely road. I struggle to explain myself and am often frustrated when my family tries to understand. I am carving a path to a socioeconomic level different from my family and it is creating a gap I am not sure how to bridge. Frighteningly, I didn't realize this at Carleton, where (almost) everyone fit seamlessly into the bubble society despite their SES. It was only afterward, joining Teach For America and interacting with peers who were not able to cloak their own socioeconomic situations. TFA, despite all of its faults, was actually very good at promoting conversations around SES and creating awareness. It is necessary for all corps members to be able to acknowledge and understand the differences of the regions where we teach. What is missing is the idea that we cannot assume SES. This is why we must create more talk about class at Carleton. I was not able to deal with my frustrations because I did not understand the roots. It has been a long road but I am beginning to forgive my mother for being poor or rather realize that I shouldn't have to forgive her in the first place. Teaching in low-income neighborhoods I have seen the myriad factors that come into play. I cannot blame her for her situation or the choices that are heavily influenced by her experiences. I am a work in progress, trying to understand the world I live in and how to interact with society to the best of my ability. It would be great if we could do this together. Carleton is the perfect place to start these conversations that we could carry beyond the bubble. (P.S. If I sound discombobulated and seem to ramble from topic to tangential topic, it is because I have not been able to sort out my thoughts by talking about this with anyone else, proving the need for a community conversation on class.)
-Anonymous
-Anonymous