There are many things that I love about Carleton. I love the excitement of spring term, the general curiosity of the student body, and the opportunities that Carleton has provided me. But there are also things about Carleton that I once loved but now dislike. As a freshman, I loved the fact that class wasn't apparent at Carleton, but rather a topic that was avoided because it doesn't seem important to who people inherently are. Beyond the Patagonia sportswear, Canada Goose winter coats and other hipster, earthy clothing and accessories, students don't seem to flaunt their wealth. I loved this because, compared to most of my close friends here, I come from a less affluent background. Not necessarily because I am poor; depending on the region, I am lower middle to middle class, and depending on the friend group, I'm the poor friend or the privileged friend. But when discussing financial aid, job prospects and life experiences with several of my Carleton friends, it became evident that I grew up with a very different monetary situation at home.
This isn't bad. I don't mind being close to people who grew up differently than I did, in any sense. In fact, I prefer it that way. What's bad is that Carleton has failed to equip me with the skill set to navigate conversations about class to the point that my friends have unknowingly hurt or insulted me on multiple occasions. One of my best friends hid the fact that they went on a family vacation to a country in which I studied abroad because they did not want to belittle my experience. After telling many stories about my time abroad, I awkwardly found out in the middle of telling a story to their family nearly a year after I studied there. I have had conversations about current financial situations with friends where, as soon as I bring up my student debt or the fact that I can't participate in a big vacation with friends because it is too costly or that I have to go appeal to get a better financial aid package or that I need a well-paid summer internship preferably with good networking opportunities, an uncomfortable silence fills the room. Other times, I have a nice, productive conversation with friends, which is great, but not nearly common enough.
In all of these cases, my friends are not at fault. Whether they simply don't know about the financial struggles of their peers or they act out of misguided intentions, they are no more at fault than I am. My friends are acting in a way of equal discomfort, lacking a similar skill set of navigating class and wealth at Carleton because Carleton has not given us the tools to navigate such conversations. I am not of the belief that Carleton needs to teach us everything because that would be ridiculous. However, how Carleton frames diversity of class and wealth at Carleton (among several other forms of diversity) prevents conversations of these sensitive topics. While it's great that Carleton doesn't have a clear hierarchical class structure (or at least a traditional, apparent one), it has come at the cost of not knowing how to talk about these things, which will only be more difficult and pertinent conversations in the real world outside of the bubble. I hope Carleton continues to shy away from a culture that emphasizes wealth and class, but not from engaging in conversations on these topics.
- Anonymous
This isn't bad. I don't mind being close to people who grew up differently than I did, in any sense. In fact, I prefer it that way. What's bad is that Carleton has failed to equip me with the skill set to navigate conversations about class to the point that my friends have unknowingly hurt or insulted me on multiple occasions. One of my best friends hid the fact that they went on a family vacation to a country in which I studied abroad because they did not want to belittle my experience. After telling many stories about my time abroad, I awkwardly found out in the middle of telling a story to their family nearly a year after I studied there. I have had conversations about current financial situations with friends where, as soon as I bring up my student debt or the fact that I can't participate in a big vacation with friends because it is too costly or that I have to go appeal to get a better financial aid package or that I need a well-paid summer internship preferably with good networking opportunities, an uncomfortable silence fills the room. Other times, I have a nice, productive conversation with friends, which is great, but not nearly common enough.
In all of these cases, my friends are not at fault. Whether they simply don't know about the financial struggles of their peers or they act out of misguided intentions, they are no more at fault than I am. My friends are acting in a way of equal discomfort, lacking a similar skill set of navigating class and wealth at Carleton because Carleton has not given us the tools to navigate such conversations. I am not of the belief that Carleton needs to teach us everything because that would be ridiculous. However, how Carleton frames diversity of class and wealth at Carleton (among several other forms of diversity) prevents conversations of these sensitive topics. While it's great that Carleton doesn't have a clear hierarchical class structure (or at least a traditional, apparent one), it has come at the cost of not knowing how to talk about these things, which will only be more difficult and pertinent conversations in the real world outside of the bubble. I hope Carleton continues to shy away from a culture that emphasizes wealth and class, but not from engaging in conversations on these topics.
- Anonymous